Sober Curious?

Hey friends, welcome back to season three of the investor best podcast with Allie Kay, come along as I casually explore what it takes to live your best life mentally, physically and spiritually. By focusing on the things you can control your thinking and actions come and listen, as I have open real and honest conversations about what it takes to step into action to live your best life. It's time to invest your best.

Hey, guys, welcome to the invest your best podcast. I'm your host Allie Kay. And I'm feeling really good. I just want to throw it out there. I feel like I've been somewhat of a Debbie Downer these past couple weeks. I feel like I always get on and I'm like guys, I'm in a slump. And it's true. I have been in a slump for the past couple of months. And I'm out of it. I feel so good. I can't even explain how just clear minded I feel. And on this episode, I want to just talk about getting sober and that sober curiosity. So the past couple months, it has been a slow transition to get out of my slump. And the biggest things that I have done to kind of turn everything around is I got back to my structure and routine. A large, large majority of why I was in this slump is you know summer happened and I lost my routine and structure. And you guys know I preach to you guys about how important a routine is. And that's been the biggest change my kids are back to school, I'm kind of back to that normal routine in my life. Number two is I started running again, you guys know I'm all about moving your body for 30 minutes a day. But I think it's also very important to find something that you enjoy, you know, those 30 minutes of moving your body doesn't have to feel like a chore or punishment. And I feel like I lost a spark in my 30 minutes of moving my body. And I just went back to running and I forgot how much mental clarity I get on runs. And I've talked about this on previous episodes where running for me is really where you know I get those 30 minutes alone in my mind where I can clear my thoughts I can think of the goals I want to set for myself what's working in my life, what isn't working a reflection of, you know, where I want to be, you know, my kids, my family, it's just a whole you know, runs really just bring me to all these different places in my mind. Plus, you know, I'm pumping good music and releasing releasing those good Feel good chemicals. So running has been a major change that I've started going back to and just really enjoying, and then I've cleaned up my diet, I really believe what you feed yourself is going to affect your mental state as well. So I feel a lot more clear that I am focusing on those better foods. But guys, it has been 18 days, today is Day 18 that I have eliminated alcohol from my life. And I did not plan for it to be like this. But the more and more I go without alcohol, the more positive effects I'm feeling and I've purchased two books that I will share with you guys that have really started changing my perspective and getting that light bulb on of being sober and and just engaging in that sober curiosity. So this episode is all about alcohol. And I've done two episodes in the past one balancing alcohol the second we had Annie grace on the show who wrote the book this night naked mind, which is a great book if you're also sober, curious, but I want to dive a little deeper and kind of how alcohol progressed in my life where I was what I've been doing, how I feel and just start that conversation. So stick around.

So in the balancing alcohol episode, from last season, I believe I talked about how alcohol in my life became like this everyday thing, especially during quarantine, it was like it's cocktail hour with my husband and we would make Margaritas every day. And that's that point in my life where I made that episode with balancing alcohol and I knew like okay, this needs to end because it was a crutch. And I feel like with quarantine, the statistic shows there's been a major increase of alcohol consumption among individuals because of what's going on in the world. And I was definitely part of that statistic. So after reading the naked mind by Annie grace and having her on the show, I realized like, I wanted to view alcohol kinda like a desert, like I didn't want to do it all the time. But if I went out with friends, I would have it and all that. Also, I am a social drinker, where I tend to have one too many when I go out with friends and I act silly. And then the next day I have that anxiety where I regret everything I've said or replay everything in my mind. And I'm hung over the next day. And I just didn't want to do that anymore. So fast forward to today. I had this moment where I had started to socially drink again, a lot more because we were going out more often and not and I don't mean going out by parties. I mean like going out to dinner and stuff every weekend where I would of course drink during the weekend and I would be hung over the next day and I would hate life and then Monday would come around and I'd still be hung over and not my best self starting off the week. So that's where I've been especially over the summer. And this whole sober curiosity thing really came into play the day after my sister's birthday and I actually took a video of myself at 4am in the morning. I have black eyeliner like smeared under my eyes. I'm about to puke because I'm so hung over. And I just took this raw video of myself to myself saying that I do not want to feel this way. And I recapped all the drinks I had the night before and mind you I went out with my sister and like my mom for her birthday. Like I didn't do anything bad. But like, I had two glasses of champagne, three dirty martinis an espresso Martini Margarita. Like I had six drinks that night, for no reason. And at 4am in the morning, here I am crouched over a toilet and I feel like absolute shit for no reason and having anxiety over the night before. And I just I took this video telling myself Ali, you are better than this. What are you doing, you know, and that's been like that moment I feel like that sparked this sober curiosity conversation. So fast forward to today. It's been 18 days since I've eliminated Alcohol and I want to talk about the two books that I've ordered. So one is quit like a woman by a Hollywood taker. And the other one is alcohol explained. And I want to ask you a question. If you're someone that just casually drinks and you come home from a stressful day from work, and you pour yourself a glass of wine, it's Are you really relaxing, you know, you look at alcohol as something to relax to help you relax. And I think starting this sober curiosity conversation is to really truly understand what alcohol is how it affects our body. And what we're conditioned to believe alcohol does for us, like what society has conditioned us to believe alcohol is done in the sense where it's something that we can relax with, after a hard day. It's the only way we can have fun with our friends. It's the only way we can tolerate family or baby showers. You know, in society, alcohol is everywhere. When we go to a sporting game, alcohol is the sponsor, running I mean marathons, you get a beer at the end of it, like society conditioned us to believe, and it puts alcohol everywhere around us that you know, we need this alcohol in our life to have fun to have a good time. And I think it's time that we truly understand what alcohol does for our body. And I think the book alcohol explained, does a great job of breaking that down of us of basically, giving an understanding of what ethanol is, I mean, it's super poisonous for our body, and quit like a woman, I just want to go over the short to medium terms, effects of drinking alcohol that you might have not even known.

And real quick, I just want to say I probably am going to drink again, I'm not here sitting that stating that I will never drink alcohol. I'm just at a point where I realized alcohol is doing more bad in my life than good. If I made a pros and cons list of alcohol in my life, there's no pros to drinking alcohol for me. Maybe for 10 minutes, I feel giggly and happy. And I feel like I fit in with friends who are drinking too. But after those like 10 to 15 minutes, there's not a positive impact alcohol has on my life. And I just want to share this to give perspective because I'm going through the motions of soap, being sober, getting sober and evaluating alcohol in my life. So I just wanted to bring you along that journey with me and no judgments. If you drink guys, this is not like pointing the finger and saying you should not have a drink of alcohol, I just want to really give you information that can just bring a new perspective in your life. So here are the short to medium terms effects of drinking alcohol, that Hollywood take your talks and quit like a woman is the radical choice to not drink and a culture obsessed with alcohol. So one is that it disrupts sleep. And it's really interesting because you know, obviously there's so many of us that pour a glass of wine or two glasses of wine to help us pass out at night and relax. And really what happens is your body never gets into that deep sleep so you might pass out quickly but if you've noticed you probably wake up at 2am because your body is desperately trying to break down that alcohol. So alcohol does not help you sleep helps you pass out quickly but it does not help you sleep it actually disrupts your sleep.

Two, it fuels anxiety. I mean, I know all about that. Three it impedes detoxification actually just learned that it actually takes almost two weeks for your body to detoxify the alcohol. So let's say you drink on a Friday and you only have one drink that weekend that alcohol stays in your system for two weeks. And it takes two weeks for your body to level out. So that's really interesting. For it causes weight gain, or interferes with weight loss. So this is a big one for me, not just with weight loss, but more of like my fitness goals. I'm getting to the point where I constantly am asking myself when I'm up for hanging out with certain friends or making choices. I asked myself constantly is this going to bring me closer to my goals are farther away. And one of my goals is I want to live the best life mentally and physically. Like I want to be the healthiest, best version of myself and choosing to drink for me brings me further away from that goal because I'll get hung over the next day I need to eat greasy foods. I'm just useless for those two days and I'm hung over and then it trickles into my Monday that new week where you know, that's where I'm supposed to get up and grind so that choosing to drink is bringing me further away from my goals. Five a causes facial redness with broken capillaries, six it f SAP your brain. Those are Hollywood takers, words, but she explains about how alcohol affects your brain and different regions of your brain. So that's really interesting to read about too. I'll just name a few more causes premature aging messes with blood sugar balance. There's so many negative effects of alcohol and at the end of the day, it is poisonous for our bodies. So that was from quit like a woman with Hollywood taker I'm telling you, even if you want to just gain a new perspective of alcohol in your life. This is a great book to read the other book alcohol explained by William Porter goes deeply more into how it affects your body Holly really touches about the society aspect of it, whereas William Porter and alcohol explained talks more about how alcohol affects your body. So I really urge you guys go pick up those books are quick, easy reads to just spark that curiosity.

I don't know why being sober choosing not to drink is such a big deal to people, I don't know if you've ever realized if you've gone out to your gone out with your friends, and you're just choosing not to drink that night or you don't drink or whatever it is, your friends will probably make it a big deal like oh my gosh, you're drinking and or you're not drinking, you're not going to have fun. And it's kind of like they brush you off like You're lame. And it's interesting, because that's that society aspect coming into play. We're conditioned to believe that we're not fun unless we drink, you know, what's the point of going out if we're not going to drink alcohol. And for me, I just want to say I think you are who you surround yourself with. And lately I have been surrounding myself with books on people who are choosing not to drink and I'm listening to podcasts and people who are not drinking or people who are really motivated in their life to really achieve these big goals. And let me tell you, they're not binge drinking on the weekends or going out and having those drinks and getting sloppy. So it's also about like, who and what you surround yourself with. And I think that really gets to that question that you can ask yourself, who are you surrounding yourself with? What do you want to be? I've also realized just in the morning putting on a podcast and again, it doesn't have to be my podcast but you know, just putting a podcast in or on in the morning rather than putting on my like my music. You know my rap jams like my upbeat music in the morning rather putting on a podcast or a motivational podcast like it puts me in a whole different mood and really fuel To me, so I feel like what you surround yourself with is really going to contribute to what you feel is, is normal. So if you're around people, like your friends revolve their time around, going out on the weekends or drinking, like evaluate who your friends are. And I'm not saying go ditch your friends, but you can switch that were like, Hey guys, let's go run together. That sounds really lame. Like, you know, let's go play a board game or let's go bowling. There's other things that you can do to have a good time that doesn't revolve around drinking. Lastly, I want to say, I don't know what it is with going out to eat. But I always feel like I need to have this drink. And the first week that I've stopped drinking, it's been really difficult. We've gone out to eat a few times, like we just went out to eat in Sarasota, we did like a day date. And I would have ordered two or three drinks at that lunch. And I chose to get sparkling water and a wine glass and I put limes and lemons in it. And I don't know what it is. But I felt fulfilled in that moment. Like I was, like, I was on vacation, I was having a drink. But I really was I was having sparkling water and a wine glass. So it's also that like thinking that, I don't know, we can't enjoy things unless we drink alcohol. But you can replace those behaviors by ordering mocktails or having a drink in your cup. And it gets a lot easier. But I've just realized, going on day to day. And every day I'm marking the day on my calendar. This is really having had a huge positive impact on my life. Like I also have noticed my skin is clear. I'm not waking up with anxiety at night. I mean, I just went through Labor Day, and I didn't have a drink because I realized, even if I have one or two drinks, it's not worth it. Because I'm good for like 10 minutes, like, I feel like I'm having fun. But then after those 10 to 15 minutes, I'm tired, or I need to have another drink. Like I feel like I have a really messed up way of thinking because I'm like, okay, it's not worth it to just have one, I either I'm gonna have five or I'm not gonna have any. And I feel like that's also a really messed up way of thinking where I realized alcohol is becoming more of a problem in my life. So I just want to put this out here and just openly discuss thinking my thinking out loud and stuff. But I think the biggest takeaway is that it's okay, if you want to not drink, you know, I think stick to your guns and really understand why it is that you don't want to drink like the negative impacts alcohol has on your life. And if you can still have fun, like when you go out to dinner, you can order mocktails and, and sparkling water and wine cups and all that. And if you ever feel like oh my gosh, I'm missing out. Think of all the positive you're experiencing when you are eliminating alcohol. And I think that's really what keeps replaying in my mind that I've gone this long without drinking alcohol. And you might be saying like, Ali, it's only 18 days. But that's a really long time. For me, that's two weekends of not feeling like I have to drink because I want it to feel like a Friday night, you know, I just keep thinking of that really low moment in my life where I'm talking to myself in the camera and telling myself like, I don't want to feel this way anymore. There's no positive reason for me to drink. And I just hope that by sharing this conversation with you guys, and like I said, I'm not saying I'm never going to drink again, I just for some reason we've normalized that it's okay to binge drink, and it's okay that you're stressed out mom and to just keep drinking all that wine. And I'm not judging you, because I am that person too. I've been there. But I also think that we can normalize the conversation that it's okay to not drink, you are still fun, you can still have fun if you choose not to drink. And that's just my goal with this podcast that we've normalized. Drinking, we've normalized alcohol being a big part in our lives and every aspect from baby showers, to sporting events to dinners to whatever it is we need alcohol. And I just want to say that there's that opposite side where you don't need alcohol in order to have a good time with your friends. You know, you're not a loser. If you don't drink if you're that friend that everyone's like, why aren't you drinking? Like really people should we should be like, Why are you drinking? Why are you putting that poison in your brain? There's no, there are no positive effects to alcohol. I just there really isn't. And I just want to share this to give a new perspective to start evaluating like This podcast is this mission of my podcast is putting stuff out there in the hopes that we can all live our best lives and alcohol brings me further away from living my best life and just think about it but Alright, that's it for today. I know this was like kind of like a ranting episode but I just wanted to talk out loud and give you a new perspective and my thought process on alcohol. If you are looking for online health coaching, you can reach me at www.investyourbestwithAlikay.com of course you can find me on tik tok and Instagram at Alexandra will and I will see you next week on another episode of investor best with Ali Kay.