A Little More On Motivation

Hi friends, welcome to Invest your best with Ali Kay. Come along as I casually explore what it takes for you to live your best life, mentally, physically and spiritually. By focusing on the things you can control, your thinking and actions come and listen as I have raw, real and open conversations about what it takes for you to step into action to live your best life. It's time to invest your best.

Hey, guys, welcome to the invest your best podcast, I am your host, Ali Kay. And on this episode, I wanted to bring you another episode on motivation. But I really wanted to unload the concept of motivation, and really give you an understanding of what it is that contributes to motivation, and give you tips that you can apply to your life to stay motivated. Now, even if you aren’t on a weight loss journey or wellness journey, this can still apply in your everyday life. So stick around.

So one common question that I get asked a lot is, how did I get motivated? Or how do I stay motivated. And I first off, just want to say with my whole 70 pound weight loss journey, it's not like I lost the weight, and then the race is over. That's it, you know, I'm done. Every day, I have to find that motivation to, to keep pushing forward and to stay on track. And I'm pretty open, you guys hear it all the time how I openly discuss how you know, I have my funk days or weeks, you know, where I have to kind of reinvent that motivation to get back on track. So first off, I just want to say, motivation isn't something that you just figure out in, you just always have motivation. It's an ever evolving thing that every day, it's a conscious effort to find that motivation to do the work, whatever that work is, you know, whether it's just your fitness journey, or wellness, journey, weight loss, journey, work, family life, just to be a better person all around, it's every single day, you consciously have to put in the work. So I think that my perception was a little distorted in the beginning of my weight loss journey, because I just thought I was going to lose the weight. And that's it, I'm done. But it doesn't really work like that. This is never over. So I just want to break that down for you that it's not like you just finish a race. It's like that old saying goes that I still don't even know it's life isn't a race, it's a marathon. I think that's the quote, I always screw it up, but you get what I'm saying. But first, I just want to break down motivation. It's a very dynamic concept. So I just want to break it down to one give you that understanding, and then really give you the application that you can start applying to your life. 

So what is motivation? I'm going to give you the dictionary definition for motivation. And it is defined as the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way. And motivation is the process that initiate guides and maintains goal oriented behaviors. It is what causes you to act, whether it is getting a glass of water to reduce thirst, or reading a book to gain knowledge. Motivation involves the biological, emotional, social, and cognitive forces that activate behavior. So really, behavior is the driving force behind motivation. So I want to just break down what behavior is because at the end of the day, these are all factors that we have control over. You know, I always say this on the show, and it's just an understood thing. There's not a lot that we can control. But there are very specific things that we can control in our lives that make all the difference and our behavior is One of them. So I want to break down exactly what behavior is, again, I'm going to give you that dictionary definition so that I don't screw it up and that you get the actual definition of behavior. So behavior is defined as the way in which one acts, or conducts oneself, especially towards other. Now, behavior, just getting a little deep, guys, but hang in there with me. Because if you understand this, you're going to give yourself a lot of control and power. So behavior is broken down into your thinking, and your feelings, your thinking, and your feelings, drive behavior, it drives your actions. Now, I'm gonna break it down even more, what are your thoughts? Your thoughts are actually your perceptions of something. Thoughts are also your ideas, and even your attitudes, and they are creative, and they have energy behind them, you know, that old saying thoughts become things. So there's really power behind your thinking, your perception, your attitude, which you control. Now, feelings are obviously your emotions, feelings you cannot control. But your thoughts drive your feelings, which drive your actions, which is behavior, which then behavior influences your motivation. Are you with me? I know, that's a little complicated. But let's just start with your thinking. So I just want to give that whole real life example from my weight loss journey, my 70 pound weight loss journey. So I've talked about this a little bit, too. When I first started my whole journey, I just thought that I wanted to lose weight, I knew I wanted to feel better, I wanted to feel good. But that was it, it was kind of like this surface level of thinking of how I viewed my weight loss journey, it was strictly just to lose weight. And that's where, you know, I looked in the mirror. And I thought to myself, that, you know, I was disgusting, I didn't recognize myself, I thought that, like I needed to work out and in a way that was almost like punishment, rather than, Oh, I love myself, that's why I want to work out like it was a very negative way of thinking towards myself, and viewing my weight loss journey. And let's just say in the beginning, it was strictly a weight loss journey. And one, it didn't work for me, because I lost motivation, I didn't really have that deep motivation to connect with what I was doing, because I just wanted to lose weight. It wasn't until later that I realized I needed to change the perception of how I was feeling about myself and I came from a place of more of like self love and acceptance, where it wasn't just a weight loss journey, it was a journey of bettering myself, you know, to feel good mentally and physically. So that thinking really shifted. And I connected to that, why. And that's where that motivation really came from. Because I had a deeper connection with my why. So if you are finding that you are not finding that motivation to whatever it is, you think you want, I really challenge you to break down your perception of what it is. 

So if you are someone who wants to lose weight, and they're really motivated, or you're really motivated the first two days, because you've reached that bottom, where you're like, Okay, I don't want to feel like this anymore. I want to lose weight. And then after two days, you're not motivated anymore. I challenge you to break down your thinking, what how are you perceiving this? Are you just perceiving that you want to start a weight loss journey to fit into your jeans? Well, if that's the only reason that's that motivations only going to take you for two days, you know, if you're viewing this as Oh, I just want to lose weight really quickly. And that's it. I mean, that motor that thinking that perception of it is only going to take you so far. So really to find the motivation and anything is to really understand your thinking, your perception, your attitude over what it is that you want and your feelings associated with it. So you might view losing weight as almost like a burden, because you know that you know, it's going to be great but you know, it's you might be thinking to yourself, Well, it's gonna inconvenience me because now I have to, like, cut out my carbs and do this. And then that thinking drives the feeling of like dread or like, you just you're you don't feel good about it, you know, so of course, you're not going to be motivated. And it's also that question like, ask yourself, do you really want it? You know, and I think it's coming from that level of honesty with yourself, if you have a goal, and you keep setting this goal, and for some reason, you can't hit this goal. You know what, I'll just give a real example from my life, I think I want to wake up at 5am every morning, you know, I keep setting this goal that I mean, this has been going on for, I want to say three years now, I set my alarm clock for 5am. You know, that's around the time my husband leaves, but I set my clock for 5am. And I tell myself the night before, as I'm setting this alarm, because every single night, I have to set this 5am alarm, which I'm still doing. And I like, as I'm setting it, I'm thinking in my head, oh, you know, I'm going to wake up and I'm going to drink my coffee, and I'm going to be able to maybe meditate for 10 minutes without the kids and not be rushed, and feel good. And then 5am comes around the next morning and I snooze it I I can't get up. And I've had to be honest with myself, Ali, do you really want to wake up at 5am? Or would you rather sleep in till 630? And the answer is, I rather sleep in till 630 as much. Because when I set this alarm, and I'm thinking these things, I also know there's like a voice that's like battling myself that's like, you're not gonna do this. And you know, you rather sleep in and I feel this sense of like dread as I set this alarm clock because waking up at 5am sounds miserable to myself. But I keep saying I want to do it. But I'm not being honest with myself, I really don't want to wake up at 5am. And right now, I don't have anything that's kind of like helping me to change that thinking of not viewing it as like a dreadful thing. And until I find something that will influence me to change that perception or belief of waking up at 5am I'm just not going to be motivated to do it because I truly don't want it. So and that's another thing I haven't truly when I talk about like my thoughts and my beliefs towards it. I haven't really connected to a why like, me just not being rushed, isn't deep enough for me like I'm okay, being rushed in the morning right now is working for me, you know, like I could still go on living this way. Because it's working for me. So I really haven't connected with a why my Why? as to why I really want to wake up at 5am you know, drinking coffee and not being rushed. It's just surface level for me.

If that makes sense. That's the analogy I can give. So really, just to unload motivation. And I know this is a lot. I want you to break it down where you think of how are you thinking towards your goal? How are you feeling towards it? Are you just on that surface level of why you think you want it? Or can you dig deeper into your WHY? And one way you can dig deeper into your why is really break down. Let's just say it is you want to just live a healthier lifestyle will tune in to how you feel right now. How are you feeling? What do you want your life to look like? Close your eyes? If you want to live a healthier life, what would you be doing? What does that look like? How would you be feeling versus how you currently feel and what you're doing now. So that's just kind of some of the tools that can really help you to dig deeper into that Why? which will ultimately influence your thinking, your feelings and your actions which drive motivation. Real quick, I wanted to interrupt this podcast and give you the health Tip of the Day. Today's health Tip of the day has to do with how much water are we supposed to drink? Now this question frustrates me because I have heard so many different answers to it. So I just want to give you what the US National Academies of Science, Engineering, and medicine has determined that what they advocate daily fluid intake is so for men, they say that 15.5 cups which is actually 3.7 liters is recommended a day for men and for women. They recommend about 11.5 cups, which is about 2.7 liters of fluid a day for women. So I hope that gives you a little bit of perception based off of the US National Academies of Science, Engineering and medicine as to how much fluid you are supposed to drink in a day. And that has been the health Tip of the Day. Okay, So enough about the whole concept of motivation, how can you stay motivated, because like I said, it's not where you just figure out motivation. And that's it, like you're motivated every single day. I struggle every single day, let me tell you, I've been waking up every morning, well not every morning, but since Monday, I wake up. And as I get out of bed, I'm telling myself, I don't want to go to the gym, I'm just gonna, like, skip my workout this morning. It will, it will be okay, you know, because I'm still getting myself back into a consistent routine after missing two weeks. But I found myself waking up even today, like I woke up, I'm like, it's okay, you don't, you don't need to go to the gym, just like skip, it's fine. But I've been able to go. Because I know, every time I go, I make note of how I feel as soon as I leave, and how it helps me feel really good throughout the day. But just to rehash that motivation that I need for this week, I have written out, I feel amazing after I work out. So I visually see that. And that's just the motivation. I need for this week to get me to go. But there are things that you know, help you stay motivated. So here are some things I like to set goals. Every week I talk about it, I make three short goals on Sunday, and I write them down. And I make sure those are the goals that I'm working towards this week. So if you just have the goal of I want to walk outside for five minutes, set that goal on Sunday, and when I mean set it, I don't mean just like set it in your mind, like write it down. I knew that this week, I needed that extra motivation, that extra push. So I wrote it on my mirror so that when I'm getting ready, I have to see it, you know, I'm a very visual person. So seeing it out there really helps. So set those goals and write it on your mirror, put sticky notes on your mirror, I am going to drink less soda today, whatever your goal is, write it down and put it in front of you every single day. Because every single day, you have to put forth that effort. And that goal, when you see it will help get you motivated. Another thing is to give yourself a reward, celebrate the small goals. You know, Friday night is my husband and I’s date night, we've been trying to make it like a consistent thing because we work a lot together. And you know, it's so good for your marriage, obviously, to go out on date nights, but we have been almost making it a priority to go on date nights because we need to see each other in different lights, other than just working with each other. So Friday night is like my night to really enjoy myself, because we go out to dinner and I like to eat what I want to eat and enjoy it. And I know that that's like, I give myself that reward. And I know that like I work hard during the week. And that's my reward. That's my small success. That's my small celebration. So that's probably like a bad example of a root reward. But give yourself a reward like whether it's you know, you do whatever it is for five days, go give yourself a reward, whether it's like buying yourself a new pair of leggings are you know, something small, celebrate those small successes, and reward yourself it will help keep you motivated.

Another thing is to plot your progress. So, you know, like for me one thing that really kept me motivated when losing the weight in the beginning is you know, I put in my progress by taking photos because I would definitely have those days where I'm like, I'm not losing any weight on the scale. You know,  I don't feel really much different and I would get frustrated but had I not had those photos to compare myself to when I first started. I think I would have lost motivation because I would have been so frustrated that the scale wasn't moving. But the photos really helped me see that I was making progress even though I couldn't see it every day. So if you just want to start a healthier lifestyle and that involves losing weight, I really encourage you to take photos but if you are working towards something else You know, pictures doesn't plot your progress, you know, find ways to mark your progress, because on the days that you feel less motivated, it's great to see to be able to visually see your progress and be like, Oh, I am making progress, which will drive your motivation even more. Another thing is to find someone to do whatever it is with you, whether it's just to have like an accountability partner, or someone like, you know, like, with me, with my business, if I have like a, something that happened with my business, like a good thing, I like to tell my mom about it, because she'll kind of like, lift me up or encouraged me, or she'll keep me on track, like, have you done this with your business and stuff like that. So find someone that can kind of help you through the journey for whatever it is you're working towards, and hold you accountable. Motivation, in general, comes in waves. So I know for me like, one week, I feel so motivated, motivated the next week, I don't. And I really think it's because I stopped doing the work at times. And again, it goes back to this is a journey, whatever it is, you're working towards life in general, it's a journey every day, it's making that conscious effort, and putting one foot in front of the other. So I really wanted to give you that takeaway of just understanding the factors that go into motivation, and I really believe it starts with your thinking. So slow down, take a minute and if you want to get motivated, start evaluating your thinking. You can find me on tik tok at Alexandra will Instagram and also if you want online health coaching, you can find me at investyourbestwithalikay.com and I will see you next time.